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Old 03-20-2014, 05:35 AM   #11
Brendan McNamar
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Re: SO Frustrated

Yes it is absolutely worth the money you spend.

You describe the inability to preform basic human movements. If you relearn and redevelop these abilities your life will dramatically improve.

Will it be easy? No.

Will a few self centered people be judgmental? Yes.

Are these the important people in life? No.

How you compare to other people you see 1 hour a day at a gym isn't important. How you feel the other 23 hours a day living your life is important.

Time to stop worrying what other people are thinking, it is none of your business.
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Old 03-20-2014, 06:21 AM   #12
Matt A. Windsor
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Re: SO Frustrated

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Originally Posted by Miles Roberts View Post
If I was your partner, and you happened to be moving slower than me or pushing less weight than me, I wouldn't consider you a "weak link". I would cheer you on not because I had to or felt obligated, but because you showed up, are trying, and putting in the effort.
This. A thousand times this. As my trainer likes to say, "I require two things from you - showing up, and the desire to keep going. That's IT."

CrossFit boxes are the *ONLY* facility where I never been ridiculed for being slower/slowest. I remember *ONE* guy making fun of someone *ONE* time at our box.

The trainer saw it, and made that guy's life a living hell for a month or two. He actually went out of his way to craft a few WODs that hit the guy's weak points so as to make him come in last or middle of the pack, and then pointed it out to the guy. He got the point REAL fast.

CrossFit is about improving your fitness. Everything else is superfluous.

NOW...this said, if your box owner or mates ever make you feel substandard AND nothing's being done about it, definitely either talk to them, or find a new box.
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Old 03-20-2014, 07:57 AM   #13
David L Jones
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Re: SO Frustrated

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Originally Posted by Lynn Martin View Post
I know the standard answer is "crossfit is for everyone" But I'm starting to disagree. I'm in my first post on-ramp month. It's not going well. I've been sick too, but still...

I can't squat. (posted about this before) I can't get my arms straight up due to lack of shoulder flexibility. Which means I look at any WOD and simply laugh. Because I can't even do the most basic things, the WOD gets scaled to something unrecongizeable.

The warmups are totally humiliating flashbacks to grade school gym class. Run back and forth? I'm ALWAYS the slowest. Once I didn't go all the way because I didn't want the humiliation of 30 other people waiting for me to be the last to finish. And somebody else in the class made a snarky remark about me cheating.

I'm tired of the humiliation of having to partner with somebody I've never met before, and being the weak link for them. I'm tired of then having to cheer me on and pretend like I'm doing good when I'm not. I'm tired of seeing how they pretend it's OK when they are actually disappointed to be paired with the class loser. I'm tired of the only option being a class- and seeing an entire list of unfamiliar names when I have to sign up for one.

I'm tired of the only workout option being classes where the cliques are formed and i'm not part of one. I'm tired of getting sick to my stomach with dread as the time draws near for me to leave to go to the class I signed up for. I'm tired of having to work hard to hold back tears of humiliation so that I don't get even MORE humiliated. I'm tired of ALWAYS being significantly worse at EVERYTHING than anybody else.

I'm tired of spending several times more money per month, than other gyms, but not really getting to be able to do the workouts. Because I can't.

I have no idea how long it will be before I can really even truly attempt a workout. How long does it take to get from only being able to squat a few inches to a full squat? Is it really worth paying this kind of money just to work on that?
You need to focus on you and becoming a better you. Also, you really have no idea what other people are thinking. At most cross fit gyms that I have been to people truly enjoy watching people get better and become more fit. Being more fit does not make you a better person, it just enables you to have a healthier body that allows you more options to do more things in life.

I played college football, but went through a period where I was horribly out of shape in my early 40s. I am now 43 and in the best shape of my life since my mid 20s. However, when I first started, I struggled just to make it through the scaled workouts. I honestly could not even imagine doing an Rx workout and now I do competitor workouts.

Enjoy the little accomplishments of just making it through a workout, or getting an inch lower in your squat, or feeling less sore, or being able to do just a little more workload. Most people in this world do not do what we do in our warm ups much less our workouts. So enjoy your time in the gym and know that you are getting better one workout at a time.

Also, stop thinking about what other people think, because most if not all aren't thinking anything negative unless you are being negative about yourself. In fact, if you are positive and pushing yourself to do the best you can do, I promise that the people in your box will respect your effort (even more than the top dogs) and be very supportive.

Good luck, I hope that you stick with it and start to enjoy your time working out!
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Old 03-20-2014, 09:11 AM   #14
Cliff Miller
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Re: SO Frustrated

lynn mark hit the nail on the head with

Stop giving a damn about what the others can do, how you compare to them, and what you imagine they might think about you. Get your butt in to the gym and do your best. And then do it again tomorrow. That's all that matters.


i have been going to xfit for just over 4 years now. when i do run i am still one of the slowest runners in the class. when i sub rowing in for running i am usually in the bottom 10% of getting a wod done.

i have major shoulder mobility issues to the point that i have had surgery on both of them and will never do any overhead work again. my coaches have found work arounds for me on this issue.

i am 53 years old and accept what i can do and can not do any more. i go to CF 5 days a week and am in the best shape i have ever been in.

i have a totaly supporative group of coaches around me and i give 100% each and every day when i am at the gym. i show up, put a smile on and say "yup that's what is on tap for the day lets getter done"

there are a bunch of cliquies at the gym i go to and guess what....i don't give a damn...i am there to bust my a#$ for and hour and thats what i do.....if other people want to socialize during class go for it....thats not what i am there for....

don't give up. put your head down and do it for yourself and no one else. it will change your life if you give it a chance. like the old question of how do you eat an elephant....one bite at a time.....don't give up!!!
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Old 03-20-2014, 11:27 AM   #15
Steven Wingo
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Re: SO Frustrated

A lot of good comments have been made. I want to add and/or echo a couple.

1. Getting in shape is not easy. There is no short cut. You will become as fit as some of the others at your box only through consistency and hard work. CrossFit, in my estimation, provides the BEST method of doing so--but you have to want it and it will not be given to you. Fitness and looking great and moving great has to be earned. Understand that some at your box probably went through what you are going through. You can be in the same position they are in some day if you commit to sticking it out and giving your all.

2. Your perception of what most others think of you can differ wildly from what they actually think. In my experience most fellow box members, regardless of how far along they are in their journey to get fit or stay in shape, have a lot of respect for you if you are showing up, putting in the effort, and doing the work. They really don't care much whether you are a former professional athlete or a coach potato who has been out of shape their entire life. If you are showing up and working and sweating and suffering alongside them, you have their admiration and respect. If there is an isolated jerk at your box, and each box probably runs into one every now and then, don't let it take away from all those there who support and admire your efforts.
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Old 03-20-2014, 11:54 AM   #16
Richard Colon
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Re: SO Frustrated

What you manifest in life, meaning what actually starts to become something, is usually some factor or combination of the things you say to yourself and the things you think. This goes for life and is well beyond just Crossfit. However, I won't get too deep here. That is not the point.

The point is, your post has a lot "I'm tired of" in there.

Let's instead talk about what you have the energy for. Say it and honestly ask yourself. "I have the energy for" and go from there.

Clearly you have the energy to get out of bed, go about your day and drive to the box right? Use that as the catalyst for moving things forward. Get the words and thoughts correct first, otherwise nothing will turn out right.

This doesn't the mean the world is sunshine, rainbows and positive attitude trumps all. That's all bull$hit. It isn't real. Bad things, pain, hurt, suck, despair, defeat, failure, etc. It is all part of it. It is your ability to shrug that $hit off (after you have given it its fair share of woe is me attention), stand back up, toughen up and use the armor that it has provided you to smash through the next thing.
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Old 03-20-2014, 12:51 PM   #17
Pedro Farah
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Re: SO Frustrated

Here are my 2 cents:

1) Read Mark's post again.
2) Know that "strong people make other people feel stronger, not weaker."
3) Go get strong. Do it for yourself, and remember this sentence when you get there. If you realize someone around you might have forgotten what it means to struggle, feel sorry for that person. They are probably nearing the end of their own evolution. Also, don't pair with the schmuck for as long as their memory is impaired.
4) I hardly think you actually are encountering such schmucks and I bet most people at your box wouldn't want you to feel discouraged. It's probably just your social anxiety. We all get it. Everyone wants to fit in the group. Crushing every WOD is not how you do that. You do that by being a respectful human being.
5) Just keep moving. Your body is changing beyond the inertia of your thoughts. Soon enough it will surprise you.


Or maybe 5 cents. Good luck!
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Old 03-20-2014, 03:05 PM   #18
Adam Shreim
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Re: SO Frustrated

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miles Roberts View Post
And for what its worth, I was last this morning. I've been doing CF for 6 months, and I was last. By almost THREE MINUTES. But I showed up, worked hard, and know I'll be better next time.
What he said - Look at my join date and then add about 4 months to it - that is how long I've been doing CrossFit. Even recently, I have finished dead last during the conditioning portion of a WOD at a local gym I've been attending. Sure, other times I have finished first, but it is what it is. Don't focus so much on other people.

I've had the people similar to you, apologize for partnering up with me, because we were the last 2 (or 3) left. I never saw any reason for them to apologize. I don't put them down for it, instead I try to help pull them up.

My last few cents, I am a warm-up warrior. Not in the sense that I like to warm-up and "win" it. But I am a warrior in the fact that I try to fight doing really long/taxing warm-ups. The board says we're doing 3 rounds... maybe I'll do 2 and a half. It depends on HOW I FEEL, not what they tell me to do. I am always dripping in sweat just during the warm-up, it is how I have always been. Do what feels comfortable to you, without slogging it.

As a matter of fact, you are the #1 type of person I want to work with as a regular ole' gym member. I am not a coach or certified to be one, either.
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Old 03-20-2014, 05:51 PM   #19
Lynn Martin
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Re: SO Frustrated

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Originally Posted by Joe Spinelli View Post
It sounds to me like you are in limbo. You are feeling out of shape and like you don't belong.

I know how you are feeling. When I started I felt ridiculous just showing up. I couldn't run the building without stopping. I had not done a pull-up since 6th grade. I felt like everyone was best friends and I was the new loser.
That's a great way to put it. I am definitely in limbo, and I do feel like I don't belong. I feel ridiculous just showing up. And there are aspects of it that are digging up old wounds from grade school gym class- which is something I definitely did NOT expect. Obviously some on this board have NO IDEA what that was like. Some days I'm better at pushing through it than others.

I knew crossfit is class based. That's what kept me from joining for a long time. I've never enjoyed class based workouts. But I get the concept of needing to improve my functionality, and so far, crossfit seems like the only place to get that. I don't like a crowded gym. I've never done well socially in groups much larger than, say 5.. and that's even when I wasn't being bullied. So these are the negatives. Some days they are much harder to deal with than others.

But I'd be humiliated by my lack of ability even if it wasn't class based. And the whole concept of everybody staying and watching and cheering for the person finishing last just doesn't cut it for me. I don't find it encouraging at all. It make it worse for me. It feels like a participation trophy mentality- or like going to a party because you feel obligated, not because you want to.

I've been through some challenges in life that have required a good deal of toughness. But I'm also human, not a machine.

So, sorry if I'm not "tough enough" for you guys. I guess I thought this was a place were it was OK to express frustration from a particularly bad day. I won't make that mistake again.
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Old 03-20-2014, 06:07 PM   #20
Mark E. Wallace
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Re: SO Frustrated

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynn Martin View Post
So, sorry if I'm not "tough enough" for you guys. I guess I thought this was a place were it was OK to express frustration from a particularly bad day. I won't make that mistake again.
Oh stop that cr*p. Nobody even *remotely* said that it wasn't okay to express your frustration. Being frustrated is understandable, but you need to be able to turn that frustration into an asset. Right now, you're letting it turn you into the victim. Even this quote above makes you come across that way.

What we (or, at least, *I*) said was that you need to toughen up mentally about your situation. Stop giving a damn about being last. Stop giving a damn about what other people think. Stop giving a damn about slowing other people down. Stop giving a damn about your surroundings.

The only thing that you should give a damn about is going in to the gym, doing your work as well as you can, and then striving to improve just a little bit next time.

The hell with whether you are first, last, or somewhere in between. Garbage such as where you place in the WOD, whether or not anyone cheers for you, and whether or not anyone even looks at you at all simply *does not matter*. So stop frickin' focusing on that stuff.

Go in. Do your work. Do it as well as you can. Go home. Come back next time and do it all over again. The hell with everything else.

- Mark
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Last edited by Mark E. Wallace : 03-20-2014 at 06:18 PM.
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