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Old 03-20-2014, 07:39 PM   #21
Matt A. Windsor
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Re: SO Frustrated

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Originally Posted by Lynn Martin View Post
So, sorry if I'm not "tough enough" for you guys. I guess I thought this was a place were it was OK to express frustration from a particularly bad day. I won't make that mistake again.
There's been a heck of a lot of positive encouragement in this thread; you're choosing to focus on what you perceive as the negative. And I gotta agree with Mark - the 'negative' is really only boiling down to "Stop caring about perception and put in the work; if you're improving on anything, anywhere, then you're advancing."

And contrary to your perception, I would argue that many here who participate in CrossFit probably do so BECAUSE of things they've experienced in their past. Without wanting to go into a long drawn-out story (or ask for any pity) I've dealt with abuse, loss of family members, hurt and pain of my own.

CrossFit provides me with an outlet to focus my frustration and pain on in a positive way.
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Old 03-20-2014, 09:40 PM   #22
Matt Kane
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Re: SO Frustrated

I feel like you're the type of person that points the finger and blames others for all the troubles and shortcomings in your life.

Maybe you should work on who you are before you work on what you are, because clearly you cannot handle both.

I wish you the best of luck though.
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Old 03-20-2014, 10:13 PM   #23
David L Jones
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Re: SO Frustrated

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Originally Posted by Lynn Martin View Post
That's a great way to put it. I am definitely in limbo, and I do feel like I don't belong. I feel ridiculous just showing up. And there are aspects of it that are digging up old wounds from grade school gym class- which is something I definitely did NOT expect. Obviously some on this board have NO IDEA what that was like. Some days I'm better at pushing through it than others.

I knew crossfit is class based. That's what kept me from joining for a long time. I've never enjoyed class based workouts. But I get the concept of needing to improve my functionality, and so far, crossfit seems like the only place to get that. I don't like a crowded gym. I've never done well socially in groups much larger than, say 5.. and that's even when I wasn't being bullied. So these are the negatives. Some days they are much harder to deal with than others.

But I'd be humiliated by my lack of ability even if it wasn't class based. And the whole concept of everybody staying and watching and cheering for the person finishing last just doesn't cut it for me. I don't find it encouraging at all. It make it worse for me. It feels like a participation trophy mentality- or like going to a party because you feel obligated, not because you want to.

I've been through some challenges in life that have required a good deal of toughness. But I'm also human, not a machine.

So, sorry if I'm not "tough enough" for you guys. I guess I thought this was a place were it was OK to express frustration from a particularly bad day. I won't make that mistake again.
No one said you weren't tough enough. I thought everyone was very supportive. I personally hope that you don't quit and are able to get past your barriers and the past that seems to still bother you. I really do. Crossfitters love success stories and I think you would be surprised at how many people at your box cheer you on because they sincerely want to see you succeed.

One other thing, when I cheer for others that are braking through their own barriers by working hard I am not cheering because I have to or it is a participation medal. I actually enjoy seeing others get better and brake through their own barriers just like I did when I started. Heck, some times the newbies are working harder and more sore even though they are doing less work. That deserves a lot of credit and support in my books. Heck, I was there not long ago. I think you are making a big mistake by assuming that people are not truly cheering you on wanting to see you succeed.
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Old 03-21-2014, 05:07 AM   #24
Miles Roberts
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Re: SO Frustrated

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynn Martin View Post
That's a great way to put it. I am definitely in limbo, and I do feel like I don't belong. I feel ridiculous just showing up. And there are aspects of it that are digging up old wounds from grade school gym class- which is something I definitely did NOT expect. Obviously some on this board have NO IDEA what that was like. Some days I'm better at pushing through it than others.

I knew crossfit is class based. That's what kept me from joining for a long time. I've never enjoyed class based workouts. But I get the concept of needing to improve my functionality, and so far, crossfit seems like the only place to get that. I don't like a crowded gym. I've never done well socially in groups much larger than, say 5.. and that's even when I wasn't being bullied. So these are the negatives. Some days they are much harder to deal with than others.

But I'd be humiliated by my lack of ability even if it wasn't class based. And the whole concept of everybody staying and watching and cheering for the person finishing last just doesn't cut it for me. I don't find it encouraging at all. It make it worse for me. It feels like a participation trophy mentality- or like going to a party because you feel obligated, not because you want to.

I've been through some challenges in life that have required a good deal of toughness. But I'm also human, not a machine.

So, sorry if I'm not "tough enough" for you guys. I guess I thought this was a place were it was OK to express frustration from a particularly bad day. I won't make that mistake again.
Give me a break. Nearly everyone here has been sympathetic and encouraging. If you think otherwise, I really don't know what to tell you.

Also, if you hate when people cheer for you when they're all done, and you're still working - that's a great motivator for you. If you hate that small period of time, its encouraging you to get done faster to either shorten that time or eliminate it.
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Old 03-21-2014, 05:58 AM   #25
Matt A. Windsor
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Re: SO Frustrated

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Originally Posted by David L Jones View Post
One other thing, when I cheer for others that are braking through their own barriers by working hard I am not cheering because I have to or it is a participation medal. I actually enjoy seeing others get better and brake through their own barriers just like I did when I started. Heck, some times the newbies are working harder and more sore even though they are doing less work. That deserves a lot of credit and support in my books.
This. If you're putting in work, regardless of how 'well' you do it, that's all that's important. The rest will come in time.
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Old 03-21-2014, 06:04 AM   #26
Pedro Farah
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Re: SO Frustrated

Tough love is, in a sense, what Crossfit, gymn class, or any other training program will be giving you for your own good, so it's a style that you're going to encounter often in these kinds of community. Donít take it the wrong way.

I strongly suggest you read some articles in games.crossfit.com about other people's success stories. You can start with this one: http://games.crossfit.com/article/whats-double-under

I also recommend this article from Breaking Muscle on what it means to be strong. This is another blog that has some great literature on strength, training and self-transcendence through them.
http://breakingmuscle.com/sports-psy...se-who-have-it

Lynn, it seems that your experiences in high school, a time when the ego is very fragile and dependent on the opinions of peers, has left you with some scars that make you very self-conscious when performing both physically and socially. But by thinking it's harder for you and easier for others as a rule, as you do, you are actually underestimating other people's personal battles and over-blowing your own setbacks to the point of victimization. This snowballs into you setting yourself apart from the group, feeding your insecurities, projecting the same judgmentalism you carry yourself on your peers and patronizing their sincere help (as you do when your are cheered and have done in this thread). All of that is a defense mechanism from a high school girl who doesn't want to face her weaknesses and is self-sabotaging the hell away from those rope climbs. I'm sure you go through a good deal of hardship, but if you'll let me say so, you're being a bit too self-centered in the way you deal with it.

However, here you are. You asked for a way out of your frustration before abandoning your training for good. So keep wanting it and notice that what Crossfit is about for you is also the conquering your old fears.

The journey is always physical, mental and emotional.
Best of luck
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Old 03-21-2014, 12:26 PM   #27
Cliff Miller
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Re: SO Frustrated

lynn......this is my opinion only.....you worry to much about what others think and do.

like i said in my other post....after 4 years i still come last or near last in some wods.....depending on the class some cheer me on and other classes i am still there working away when others have all their gear put away.

i can relate to "And the whole concept of everybody staying and watching and cheering for the person finishing last just doesn't cut it for me. I don't find it encouraging at all. It make it worse for me." cause i don't like being the center of attention

so like miles says "Also, if you hate when people cheer for you when they're all done, and you're still working - that's a great motivator for you. If you hate that small period of time, its encouraging you to get done faster to either shorten that time or eliminate it." all their cheering does for me is to push me to want to be done faster.

i think the important thing to remember is that you are (or should be anyways) doing this for you and no one else. quit worring about what others think, say or do. there is always going to be someone talking about others so just block them out.

upon reflecting over my last 4 years of x fitting....aside from how i look and feel for a 53 year old guy who still kicks a$%.....then mental growth i have obtained is what surprises me.....crossfit has changed my life....both in mental and physical ways if you give it a chance as well as put in the efort to make it happen.....

don't quit....put your head down and grind through it.......
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Old 03-23-2014, 01:22 AM   #28
Pat Thompson
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Re: SO Frustrated

Hi Lynn

I could have written your post when I started Crossfit about 18 months ago. I hated my first few months of classes - I was the slowest and heaviest person in the class by about 40 lbs. I was always last in everything - I actually had a class member stop and ask me if I was ok while I was in the middle of a bear crawl session - I know she meant well but I was so embarrassed. The only thing that kept me going back was my level of discomfort about how unfit/fat I was then outweighed my discomfort about attending the classes.

Forget about what anyone else is doing/thinking - easier said than done I know but you have no idea what their life is like outside of the box. It took a while for me to get it but it's true when they say the only person you're competing against is yourself. If you have to scale the warmups/workouts who cares - you do what's right for you and your body. Keep a log of your workouts and you will look back in a couple of months and see the gains you're making.

I joined Crossfit primarily to lose weight but I was surprised at how much stronger I've become both physically and mentally. It does get better so hang in there. But if after a couple of months you're still not feeling it at your current box maybe try another box.

Pat

Last edited by Pat Thompson : 03-23-2014 at 02:18 AM.
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Old 03-23-2014, 05:10 AM   #29
Tommy A Miller
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Re: SO Frustrated

I think Barry Switzer said it best; If you don't like losing, get better.
Im 48, have a torn acl in my right knee and a torn mcl in my left knee, neither have ever been repaired, I play basketball with a bunch of college kids and I cant really jump or run that well anymore but im not letting go of the idea that I can work my way back to the kind of explosiveness I had as a 20 year old. In reality, it may not be possible but whats the alternative? Death is winning, do something.

Last edited by Tommy A Miller : 03-23-2014 at 05:57 AM.
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Old 03-24-2014, 08:10 AM   #30
Reuben Bakker
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Re: SO Frustrated

I didn't read through every response, but my $.02 is you need to work on your self esteem as much as you are working on your fitness. You should be PROUD of the fact that you are showing up to crossfit when you could choose to quit or sit on the couch instead. Stop worrying about what others think, do your best, and keep at it. It's a looong slow process. You'll have frustrating days, and there's nothing wrong with venting a little, but the most important thing is you keep your attitude in check and stick with it. You can do this, and after a few months - or a few years - who knows, but in time you'll look back and be so proud of how far you have come.
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